MY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY | 10 THINGS I’VE LEARNED LIVING IN CHINA

I’m currently on my way back to China from spending my vacation with family in Seattle. As I reflect on my past year living in China, I have come to feel an attachment to the lifestyle I’ve created. Don’t get me wrong, I have many days where I want to run away and just fly back home. At the same time, nothing would be the same without difficult and vulnerable times.

I get frequent questions about “how is life in China”, “do you like it”, “how long do you plan on staying”. No matter how I answer these questions, it’ll never do justice to the experience. A year has already gone by and I’ve learned so much, and yet there is so much to learn.

Reflecting on when I was offered my current position in Hohhot, it was a blessing how I even landed in a place like this. It all comes to show that whatever your heart sincerely seeks, it will always find a way to manifest. There were many ups and downs, and yet I feel like I’ve gained something I would have never known hadn’t I taken the chance.

As a compilation of my thoughts and observations about life here, here are 10 things I’ve learned living in China.

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I’m basically a celebrity in my community

I’m known as the “Muslim American foreigner”. I knew this would happen, I mean particularly about the celebrity part *insert snarky laugh* hehe jk.

Hohhot has a close-knit Muslim community, and many are acquainted with one another. That being said, I’ve been told I’m likely the first visible Muslim woman and westerner many have encountered. My presence causes a little too much of a surprise to many. Along with the fact that I’m doing it alone.

If you’ve read my previous China blogs, you’ll know that being visibly Muslim was how I landed in this city. For where I’m situated, I’d be surprised to find a person like myself as well. To acknowledge how big the world is, and land in a place that would otherwise sound so far-fetched.

Hohhot isn’t a very known destination you’d hear about unless you had some sort of relation to the place. And so, when I find individuals who have commonality with me, it makes the world feel a whole lot smaller and less intimidating.

You really don’t know much until you’ve experienced life outside the comforts of home

Some can say otherwise. Truly speaking, if you aren’t the head of the household or don’t necessarily have and need to take responsibility for most if not all things, life is fairly easy. Luckily my transition wasn’t too difficult, nor excruciatingly overwhelming because of my independent nature. Regardless, living in a city like Hohhot can be difficult since English speakers aren’t easily found. Luckily, I’m surrounded by very helpful coworkers and friends who have made my transition a hell of a lot easier.

Moving abroad and living on my own was something I personally wanted and needed for my own growth. Everyone has a moment of realization of how they want to experience life, and this was just mine.

Moving to another country is and continues to be something that has taught me so much about myself and how I’m able to tackle different situations, and it’s humbling. My decisions are more likely to be influenced by myself, and I actually feel like I can be an adult. No shade to my parents… 

You learn more from getting lost

I get a lot of questions from both Chinese and non-Chinese people about how I manage to find my way with minimal Chinese. It’s called: using a translator app and asking a lot of questions.

Jokes aside. Surprisingly, I’ve found it a lot less hard than what others make it seem to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle a lot, but I don’t allow this to hinder me from attempting to find what I want on my own. I fear less getting lost, and luckily my sense of direction has always aided me in finding my way.

Many of the places I’ve become familiar with have been from walking, biking, or taking the bus either spontaneously or on route. This also includes taking the wrong bus and actually getting lost. 

The world functions in many different ways

As I mentioned previously, prior to China I had very minimal to no experience of Chinese culture. Life here is fast, but very relaxed at the same time. You’ll always find people hustling no matter the age. Simultaneously life feels rather chill and I’d say it’s the same with the people. Disclaimer: This is all based on my own experience and interpretation of my environment.

During the evenings, I always find people and their families out and about, older folks dancing in large open spaces, and in those same open spaces, there’ll always be activities for young children. Walking down the market street, I’m always greeted with smiles or curious stares. Those who know me will stop me for a little conversation and sometimes store owners will give me little extra goodies to enjoy. Everything gives me “homey” vibes. I feel welcomed even with my foreignness. It’s that collective culture goodness. 

On the other hand, one of the biggest cultural shocks I experienced and continue to is the way people communicate. Especially in workspaces. Things like work-related tasks being communicated randomly or last minute, responses to different opinions, the focus on pleasing others extensively, the idea that being present at the office means you are being productive versus working from home, and how money and work-oriented the culture is. Not everything seems far-fetched, but the fact that it’s all happening in a new country makes it harder. There’s just a lot of things that feel like you have to leap to understand.

It takes a lot of patience to navigate and acknowledge the different ways the world functions, and I’m learning to feel more comfortable with that. 

Luke warm water is considered cold water

Everywhere you go, you will likely be served hot water. I’m talking about boiling water, if not lukewarm water. Going to the airport you will also find water stations where there is an option between the two. And to be honest, warm water may sound weird, but you get used to it after a while. At least I have. I can’t remember the last time I drank cold water, even during the summertime when the weather is uncomfortably hot. I guess this is my way of confirming I’ve adapted well to some of the cultural practices.

Privacy isn’t a thing

To be honest, as a foreigner anywhere, everybody wanna know yo business and yo mama’s. That’s a fact. You can’t really hide (especially if you stand out) so there is no escaping. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, photo-sneaking is normal and so is being uncontrollably stared at. Not only that, privacy from coworkers isn’t always a thing either.

As someone who is very private despite my public presence, people get too curious about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. To top it, the amount of times I’ve had people try to look at my phone while using it in both public places and workspaces is more than I can count on my hands and feet combined. And the number continues to rise. It’s only a matter of time before I pop off on someone. At the same time, the curiosity people have becomes normal and you learn to ignore it and be more strategic. 

Sometimes you have to silence your woke-radar

Microaggressions are always bound to happen, and so are people overtly and covertly being racist – no matter where you go. Some places tend to be worse than others, and some not so much. This is a given.  And sometimes you gotta look past certain things and other times it’s necessary to challenge people’s views.

I’ve come to a point where not all things need to take my attention because honestly, it’s not worth the time and energy to constantly dwell on how people think and how problematic the backwardness of anti-blackness is. Like all things, you will have to learn to pick your battles. Many statements that have racist undertones directly come from ignorance. Depending on who you are dealing with, it’s important to challenge others to better understand the meaning behind what they say and how they act. 

Safety isn’t always my main concern

Of course, this will greatly depend on where you are in China. Not all places are bound to have the same level of safety, although as a country China is relatively safe. From my experience, I haven’t had questionable situations walking alone at night (even past midnight), traveling to different cities alone, taking public transportation, etc. I can confidently say I don’t feel uneasy being a woman alone here.

Considering I’m also visibly Muslim, I don’t feel my identity is at harm. People tend to be more fascinated by my presence than anything. I’m sure many non-Chinese people can also say the same about the reactions they get.

I did experience being pickpocketed in the market, but I also acknowledge that I was at fault. Never leave your phone dangling in your pocket…

Making friends isn’t all that easy

Yes, you obviously will make friends along the way, but not everyone will have your best interest. I’ve come across too many people who desire to befriend me all for the sake of having a “foreign friend” and because I have a “foreign face”. You can only imagine how uncomfortable this can be. Rather than getting to know me, some people will rather focus on superficial things, and I could careless to associate if this is the case.

I’m blessed to have access to a Muslim community, although it’s difficult when I can hardly communicate with the minimal Chinese I do know. After a while of trying to communicate in Chinglish (Chinese-English, as we refer to it here), I’m already exhausted and have no interest. Regardless, I’ve still met many individuals and families I can communicate with and who have become like family to me, and I am very grateful for them.

As for all things, we only gravitate towards individuals we feel a connection to and who will genuinely benefit us. 

Everything is a business

As blunt as it may sound, it is true. Here in China, working as an English teacher, you are seen as the money-maker in any given place. Because of your possible different facial features and nationality, you will attract more attention and therefore customers. And of course the more European you look, the better. Apparently, a white face with Eurocentric features is the way to attract people to learn English.

I do mean what I say when I state that many, if not all things are viewed with a business mindset. And for anyone looking to come to China to teach, know this is something you’ll find in all schools that promote learning English. This doesn’t mean it isn’t worth the experience, but more so a reminder to be ready for anything and all things. Take what you want, and leave what you don’t find beneficial. 

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At the end of the day, if someone were to ask me if I could go back home tomorrow, I would be very hesitant. Not to say living here is perfect, but because I’ve created a home here in Hohhot. Not a permanent home, but one that I am satisfied with for now, alhamdulillah.

The other day I was reflecting and it hit me. Realizing how difficult it’ll be when I eventually leave and go back to the US. Knowing that I’ve built a life here and have found comfort in shows that we will never be bound to any given place as humans. We are only bound to how we establish the feeling of home – and that can truly be anywhere. 

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