There comes a time when living abroad solo can feel very lonely. Very frequently actually. It’s everything from being away from family and friends, being in a completely different environment, not having a physical support system, and having to cope with emotions mostly if not all alone. I could go on.
That doesn’t mean it’s not worth the decision, it just takes a lot of time adapting to the new change. Especially change that can be drastic.
I’ve had many days and nights where I’d cry myself to tiredness because I felt lost, hurt, or just needed a shoulder to cry on. And this is coming from someone who prefers to be in her own company and is very independent. But that certainly doesn’t mean I don’t need company, because we all require a certain level of human interaction to be and feel healthy.
And the difficulty of finding good and frequent company makes it no easier, especially in the beginning stages. It all just feels like survival mode, until you find your grounding.
Regardless, you never know how your life could possibly change for the better (I hope) when you allow yourself to take it all day by day. You learn very quickly to appreciate the journey and yourself for your strength and courage.
It’s crucial to remind oneself that it’s very normal to experience loneliness abroad and feelings of homesickness. But if you’re having a harder time getting out of a slump, here are 10 ways that continue to help me beat the blues abroad and how they can assist you too.
- Personalize your space
- Get a bike
- Get a gym membership
- Enroll in a class
- Create projects
- Create a routine, but spice it up sometimes
- Make friends and actually hangout
- Call home or loved ones frequently
- Find nearby coffee shops or bookstores
- Play tourist, and do it shamelessly!
- BONUS: Show yourself some grace
Personalize your space
This has been one of the most comforting things for me. After moving abroad and away from family for the first time, I realized how essential it became to make my space feel more like home.
I decided to bring items from home, and eventually bought little house decors that personalized my new home. As a result, coming home felt more lively and special, because I took the time to create the environment I needed.
This doesn’t mean you have to spend a whole lot, but rather work with what you have. Personalizing your space could be anything from designating a place to pray/meditate, lighting a candle smell that reminds you of home, or even buying a house plant.
If you’re anything like me, you’ll likely bring things from back home like a photo album, books, artifacts, art supplies, and spices, just to list a few.
And as your journey abroad continues, it’s just a matter of time before the homey feeling slowly kicks in.
Get a bike
Having a bike is a great way to explore your city. It forces you to get out and allows you to cover more ground while still being able to capture the scenery. Plus it counts as a workout, a bonus.
During my time in Hohhot, my bike was the reason I discovered and became accustomed to the city. I would go on frequent joy rides and find some of the most beautiful parks, restaurants, shops, and more.
If you prefer not to make the purchase, you still have a plethora of different options. If your city has a good public transport system or offers bike rentals, these are also great ways to get around. And of course, walking.
Get a gym membership
Staying active however way that may be for you is an important factor in getting out of any slump. For me, it’s been going to the gym and creating consistency in doing so.
I always notice how much of a balanced person I am when both my mind and body are aligned, and staying physically fit helps me reach that state.
If going to the gym isn’t your thing, there are always other options, as for all things. There’s always hiking, walking around the city, biking as I mentioned before, and much more.
Enroll in a class
One of the best ways to learn more about a country and its people when living abroad is through classes. This can be anything from cooking, art, language learning, sports, dance, etc. The sea is abundant!
Whatever gives you a good time and a memorable time, is worth trying. Joining different classes are a great way to make valuable connections, but also spaces that’ll build you and your skill sets.
I’ve attended language classes, social gatherings geared towards entrepreneurship, art classes, and others I’ve taken the time to check out. All have positively contributed to my experience and taught me how to fully immerse myself in my environment.
Create projects
By far my favorite thing to do. I’ve officially mastered the art of creating projects. I’m talking about anything big or small.
I’ve always been the type to have many hobbies/skills, and living abroad has only increased my list. Anything from art, house decor/repair, creating educational resources, and working on blog-related content, I do my best to make time for them all accordingly.
Projects won’t just keep you busy, but allow you to discover more of yourself and what brings you joy. No matter how little time you have, it’s about how you can accentuate your life, even beyond the timeframe you plan to live abroad.
Create a routine, but spice it up sometimes
When I first moved to China, this was by far the hardest thing to establish. It was everything from trying to integrate into a different society, living alone, and having to rediscover my balance.
Once I was able to find my grounding over time, I started setting days for running errands, doing housework, self-care, exploring the city, etc. Everything became about using my time to do the things I needed and wanted to do for my own betterment and well-being.
Create a consistent routine, but in having one, remember to change it up once in a while so you don’t become stagnant while living your life.
If living abroad or traveling teaches you anything, it’s to allow flexibility in the way you function and operate in most things.
Make friends and actually hangout
I’m not gonna lie, the thought of having to go out and make friends isn’t at the top of my list. And I say this because I always think of the process of making friends something that should be organic. And it should be.
Although living abroad may quickly make you reevaluate your need to make friends. Not to say you must befriend anyone and everyone, but you’ll have to at least make more of an effort. I speak to the introverts out there.
Centering yourself in spaces that relate to your values and interests can be the best way to finding like-minded people, who eventually may become good friends.
When you’ve found those like-minded individuals, make sure to hang out and actually stay connected. Living abroad solo doesn’t and shouldn’t be about constantly doing things alone, and that’s a reminder for me first and foremost.
Social groups can also be found via Facebook or through local groups hosted by people living in your city. Take the time to search for them!
Call home or loved ones frequently
Keeping in touch with family and friends helps, and it really makes you appreciate loved ones in your life. The people who make you feel at home will always feel the closest to you no matter where you are. And for every lonely feeling, you can never go wrong with a call home to fill the void.
Calling home is the one thing I always look forward to during the weekends. I have a set day when I call home, and mama and papa know what’s up when the clock hits 10 a.m China-time.
Take the time to schedule voice and video calls consistently. Don’t end up feeling distant from the individuals you love, just because you’ve become so used to living far away.
Find nearby coffee shops or bookstores
You’ll always find people at coffee shops or bookstores, no matter the time of day. They’re great places to either work, learn, read, or just lounge.
Nothing out of the ordinary needs to be planned, and all you have to do is pick up your bag and leave the house. My favorite part about coffee shops and bookstores is how calming the environment is. It’s also a great alternative workspace when you need a break from home.
So make sure you find some local spots and go for a little outing when you need to.
Play tourist, and do it shamelessly!
On days I want to do something a little more adventurous, I love planning trips via metro. It wasn’t until I moved to China I learned how to use the metro system and one that doesn’t just have 1 line. Crazy, right?
Having an accessible public transport system is another reason why I love to travel. In my personal opinion, it’s the best way to explore and learn more about a city.
And while you’re finding new places to explore, learn to also go with the flow and not try to plan everything to the T. Part of the excitement of being a tourist wherever you are is allowing yourself to go off route.
Be shameless yet conscious in your exploration! Just remember to stay consistent, and don’t get too comfortable with preferring to stay home on days you are free.
BONUS: Show yourself some grace
Even though I list how to fight loneliness abroad, I also acknowledge that sad days are inevitable. They will come, and like all things, they will also pass. So remember to have lots of patience with yourself and even more grace.
No one said moving abroad would be easy, no matter how exciting it may look. Never beat yourself for the hardships you may be going through. Those moments are meant to teach and strengthen you in ways you are destined to.
Most importantly, do what you need to do in order to feel and be the best for yourself.
Nevertheless, I’ve stated this before and will continue to say this: your experience is what you make it. Don’t be hard on yourself when you’re ever feeling down one day or a couple. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, and acknowledge what it is you need most at that moment in order for you to take the best action forward.
Always remember the why to your journey and know that you’re never completely doing anything alone. And with all that said, I truly hope these tips help you through your journey and beyond.
If you’d like to add to the list, feel free to share in the comments below!
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