What’s better than a year’s worth of learning all compiled into one post. Here’s my year in review, and everything I’ve learned and loved. Enjoy!
1. The most important goal that I achieved this year was
- Moving abroad: this is something I had set my mind on and was planning prior to graduating university, and though I did not know where and how to start the process in the beginning, I learned and I found the way. I truly believe that if there is a will, there will always be a way. And so all it took was for me to set my intention and my mind in the right direction, and I proceeded in my resilience.
- Creating a little art business. Art has always been something I’ve been passionate about and to create art that has meaning and can impact others is something very profound to me. So with my love for Islamic calligraphy, I started a little business prior to leaving for China, and it was something I put much effort and time into. I’ve always wanted to sell my artwork, and this gave me the opportunity to do so, along with opening such passionate feelings for the energy I put into what I love.
2. Something that happened to me that has never happened before
Living on my own and in a different country – I wouldn’t trade it easily. There comes a time in life where space and learning to create your own unique way of living becomes necessary, and I’ve learned that this year. Being in the comfort of home and family is something I will always cherish, but now it’s time to build my own experiences and grow into the woman I want to be. And it takes being on my own.
3. My biggest career accomplishment was
Overall, the process of starting anew in a different country is something I am really proud of. No one really prepares you for life, except for life, and I’ve realized every decision made is indeed an accomplishment. Everything we go through becomes part of the process of reaching who we’re supposed to be.
4. My biggest relationship accomplishment was
The relationship I established with myself. Striving to have a healthy and accepting relationship with myself is something no one but myself can do, and so from learning to engage in the things that fill me mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I fell in love with the person in me. It also made me understand the things I need and want in life, and to disregard anything that isn’t of benefit to me. There’s a quote by Oprah that truly resonates with me, she says,
“The biggest choices begin and end with you, your internal big questions; Who I want to be in the world; my relationship to source energy, to all that is God. Your experience with that which is all life, divine and universal – being connected and aligned with that and you’re tuned in and charged into that. Whenever you feel empty, you go inside yourself and connect to the source and you know that all things are possible.”
And that is exactly how I feel!
5. These are the skills I acquired this year
- Learning how to cope with change
- How to budget
- How to change a toilet seat
- Learning to be more in tuned with how I feel
- Dealing with kids
- Communicating a little in Chinese – my listening skills are a lot better
- Reading Arabic more fluently – I’d say one of my biggest fulfillments I’ve been working on
- Learning to be more free minded
6. A big mistake that I made this year—and the lesson that I learned as a result—was
Never put your bank card in your pocket, or any valuable item that can easily fall out of your pocket. I have moments where I do things knowing I could lose something or something could possibly go wrong but proceed to tell myself everything will be alright. This is also how my phone got pick-pocketed at the market. Lesson learned! And as for the rest, I’ll keep those to myself.
7. An obstacle or a challenge that I overcame this year
Having to overcome feelings of homesickness. There were a few times it really hit me hard, and of course, it still does. It’s more manageable now that I’m used to being on my own, but it’s still difficult at times. There are days where I wish I had my family around or simply any good company. I’m really good at keeping myself occupied, so I can easily look past the feeling.
8. This year, I learned the following about myself
- I’m a very self-motivated person and to watch myself grow because of this characteristic. It has allowed me to better realize my capacity and some of my wants and needs in life.
- Whether I’m alone or not, I still have the same drive and passion
- The power my words and actions have on others who look up to me
- I can trust myself more than anything, because there is no one who knows me more than I know myself
- I love ME time!
- I’m good at adulting. Of course there are many things I need a lot of work on, but for the most part I think I’ve nailed this adulting stuff pretty well for now
9. Here’s something I learned about other people
- There will always be good and bad people in this world, many fall in the middle, and when you’ve understood the nature of all, you realize it’s always best to fully and only rely on yourself. And for the good and trustworthy relationships we form, they truly are great blessings.
- Not everyone has your best interest, especially if it has some sort of disadvantage to them and their business. And sometimes it’s not that they don’t have their best interest, but more so they don’t like your decisions affecting their affairs even though you have the freewill to make the choices you personally need.
- Everyone wants to know your business and your mama’s!
- There are many kind-hearted people in the world – be one and your energy will always gravitate towards them
10. This made me laugh the hardest this year
- When my parents came to visit me in China and while we were at a grocery store a lady decided to videotape us, so my mom pulled out her phone and said, “Ok! I can do it too!”
- When I was in Xian for training, me and the other foreign teachers were on the train being kinda loud, and a man told us to be quiet in an aggressive/irritated way. Me and my friend started laughing uncontrollably, and it was one of those moments where we couldn’t control our laugh. Those who know me, know I can have a laughing problem during awkward situations.
- All of mama’s jokes……they’re usually never intended to be jokes, but it all ends in laughter. I think it’s a parent thing. They’ve been through so much and have endless wisdom and so everything they say has so much truth and humor to it.
11. This impacted my thinking
I recently started incorporating listening to more motivational speeches, podcasts, Ted Talks, etc. and I’ve found myself a lot more appreciative of life and the process of always seeking to improve myself. My mind is stronger, although I wouldn’t say completely where I’d like it to be, it’s in a place where despite the hardships faced I know I can better my condition.
12. My best memory of the year was
- Going to Xi’an for a teacher training
- Going go-karting with my co-workers. I love the adrenaline rush driving fast gives me
- My visits to Ordos to see Tus
- My parents visiting me in China – they never expected coming to China, and because of me they had a reason to come
- Walks around the park and the market
- Solo shopping sprees
- Karaoke!
13. My biggest regret of the year was
- Wasting time
- Not being careful enough with who tries to be my friend
Mostly I’m trying to regret less and think of everything as a learned lesson. It’s hard, but all I can do is learn and move on, and hope for the best.
14. My biggest disappointment of the year was
Not having enough vacation days! Working at a training school kinda limits you when it comes to wanting to leave the city/country for even a couple of days. And the 2 weeks of vacation I do have within the year, well, I’d prefer to save those to see my family. For now, I am happy with where I work, and I know this is just a starting point and it’ll change in the future inshaAllah.
15. The books I read this year were
Started reading “Ministry of Utmost Happiness” by Arundhati Roy but haven’t completed it, and spent this year mostly reading the Qur’an. I wish I made more time for reading in general. At this point, I’ve realized I do enjoy reading, although I don’t put enough time and energy to read. I really do hope this is something I can do more of next year inshaAllah.
16. My favorite movie of the year was
Nothing really comes to my mind, but I did enjoy watching Ratatouille with my students during our English Corner movie night. I occasionally watch movies but haven’t come across one I’d call my favorite.
17. A TV show I really enjoyed watching this year was
- Blackish, Blackish, and more Blackish!
- Queen Sugaaaaaaaaa
- Kara para ask (my turkish drama)
- Youtube…don’t know if that counts
- Ted Talks and podcasts
18. I enjoyed this live performance (concert, play, musical, or dance performance)
Going to the square in the evening and dancing with the older folks. The one time I went to visit Tus in Erdos, we went to the park and all the older men wanted to dance with us. LOL. Old men have no chill!
19. Here’s a song I listened to over and over again this year
My playlist of Afrobeats!
20. This is something I wish I hadn’t bought this year
A couple of clothing items from Taobao I thought would be cute.
21. This is the best thing I bought all year
- Plane ticket to China
- My jar of coconut oil – stay moisturized y’all
- My laptop
- Camera
- Canvases, and all my art supplies
- All the cute decorations/souvenirs in my home
- My plants
- Gym membership
- Food
22. Someone I enjoyed spending time with this year was
Tus; my soul sista and the one I run to whenever I need to escape Hohhot. Living in a place where you don’t have much of a social and cultural connection to people is hard, and to even find a friend, sister, and coworker like Tus, I am greatly grateful. She’s someone I look up to and can easily talk to, and I don’t know what my time in China would have been like if we hadn’t met. We’re also tea buddies (not the drinking kind).
23. I adopted this new positive habit
- Setting routines – living alone I really have the freewill to do anything at any time, but having a routine and setting expectations for myself makes me feel a lot more responsible and at the end of the day I’ll be a more efficient person.
- Being more free-minded – working with children you kind of have to readjust how you act and do certain things, and in my case, I’ve had to learn how to pivot around how to be more approachable and relaxed when dealing with them, otherwise they’ll eat your mind. But also with traveling, living abroad, and life overall.
- Being more vocal – living in a different country and having to become accustomed to a different culture, I’ve realized being vocal is something people don’t practice and communication can be difficult. So I’ve made it a requirement for myself to be more transparent with what I think and feel, and in return whether others do the same or not it becomes their personal choice. As long as I’ve done my part, I’ve taken care of my responsibility.
24. I dropped this negative habit
Dwelling on my past – I’ve never been much of a person who becomes so fixed on my bad experiences, but sometimes some things make you a grudge against your past which can affect how you view certain things. But the most important thing I’ve done is evaluate, seek closure, heal those feelings, and try to be better for myself.
25. One time I stood up for myself this year was
When my Chinese co-teacher tried to give me an attitude in class, and I snapped back at her. I dislike having to have another teacher in class with me, but I know it’s necessary because of the language barrier. One thing I’ve noticed about Chinese culture is that the way people communicate, is very passive-aggressive and there’s a lot of saving face and being non-confrontational. Just an observation, not criticizing.
26. The scariest thing I went through this year was
When I first came to China and had to go for a physical check-up. I was required to get my blood drawn, and that terrifies me. During the process, my body went numb and I was close to collapsing. After the nurse finished, I started sweating uncontrollably and had a painful stomachache.
27. A really cool thing I created this year was
My website. At first, I wasn’t sure what I wanted it to be geared towards – my artwork or a travel blog. Alhamdulilah it all worked out in the end and I know it’s just a starting point. Who knows maybe I’ll even combine my art-related work to it one-day inshaAllah. There’s so much creativity that overflows my mind, and I just need some time to work on it.
28. My most common mental state this year was
- Peaceful. This is no surprise to me, knowing what being in my solitude can do for me. A lot of people ask me how I manage living by myself across the ocean and being alone, but to me being alone isn’t the problem, it’s not being comfortable to be alone that is. And although social media doesn’t and will never do justice to the condition of my mental state, as long as I am in tune with myself, that’s all that matters. Life in general is about growing and overcoming, which means that we all grow in different ways and through different circumstances.
- Feisty. This is something that has drastically increased. Although I’m a pretty chill person for the most part, I still have a temper and sometimes it comes out at the wrong time. This one time when I was at the airport some guys saw that I was a foreigner so they decided to stop and bend to look at my phone. It was the most random thing I’ve ever seen and when I processed what happened I looked over at them and said “What the hell!”, with my infamous glare. Walahi tho, who the hell does this type of stuff……
29. Here’s how I grew emotionally this year
Emotionally I’m more at peace. My state of mind, and everything that revolves around how I can grow as an individual. It’s an endless process, but reflecting on how my emotional state was a year ago versus now, I have developed a love for myself. This doesn’t mean I am proud of everything about myself nor think I have no flaws, but accept and appreciate who I am, looking past my inner and outer struggles.
30. Here’s how I grew spiritually this year
Spiritually, I’ve become more in tune with myself, although there have been many tough times understanding where I am. Those roadblocks have assisted me in remembering where I need to be. Being away from home and not exactly having the same access to all things (ex. Friday sermons in English, books, etc.), sometimes it feels a bit lonely in a religious aspect. I know there are things like YouTube, but of course, it’s not the same. It’s been easy and hard all at once for me.
31. The best gift I received this year was
Another year. It’s amazing how much can change in a year.
32. The nicest thing someone said to me this year
- “You are very independent and very well put”
- “Your persona is good”
- “You’re glowing”
33. The nicest thing I did for someone else this year was
- Putting a smile on my students’ faces and reminding them how special they are. They indeed annoy the hell out of me at times, but seeing them makes me remember how much I used to appreciate teachers who showed me kindness and attention.
- Showing acknowledgment – I think this is something I’ve always done. No matter who it is, I know that showing that you acknowledge someone, whether it’s a simple hello or even a kind compliment, it can put a smile on anyone’s face.
34. An act of self-restraint I’m most proud of
Not popping off on people who try to take pictures/videos of me. *Pats self on back*
35. If I could change one thing about this year it would be
I would change my days off and make it 2 consecutive days. This way I would have been able to travel more even if it were for a day or day in a half.
36. A new food/dish I tried this year was
Hotpot. When I first came I kept on hearing about this dish and didn’t understand what the hype was. And when Tus visited me in Hohhot for the first time, that’s when I tried it for the first time. So for those who don’t know, hotpot is basically a pot with boiling water where you have to cook a bunch of raw vegetables and/or meat in it. There is always a peanut sauce/oil you use to dip the food after it’s been cooked. It’s pretty bomb but gets kinda boring after a while.
37. This year my physical health was
Very energetic. Working with kids requires a lot of energy, and even though I get tired I know how to rejuvenate myself. Once my foot steps into my apartment, all I know is I don’t need to see no kids and it’s ME time!
38. Here’s a new friend I made this year
Tus, Jingjing and her family, Helen, Fatima, and basically a lot of Muslim families who’ve welcomed and checked up on me.
39. This year I traveled to
- Xi’an
- Ordos
40. Here’s one adventure I had this year
Going to the grasslands and desert during a summer excursion with a bunch of students and their parents. It was work-related, but I made the effort to see it as an opportunity to explore and see new places.
41. One contribution I made to my community was
I don’t think I’ve contributed much, but I do believe that my presence as a young Muslim-American woman has really inspired and created a deeper connection to many of my Muslim students and community. I’m the first they’ve seen and the way they interact with me truly reflects the appreciation and joy they have for a practicing Muslim with a western background. People here don’t necessarily see Muslims living in certain parts of the world (particularly the US and Europe) as strong or even practicing individuals, and so it’s nice to give them a reason to look past that stereotype.
42. This year I spent a lot of time here
- In my apartment
- Mosque
- Computer
- In classrooms
43. This year I broke out of my comfort zone by
Having to work with babies basically. For the longest time, I wasn’t really exposed to having to be around really young children unless it was at the masjid, but even then it would be for a short amount of time and I didn’t have to think much of it. Now that I teach ages 3-14, it’s become one of those things where I’ve had to learn to accept and be comfortable with being around young kids often. I just have to remind myself it’ll be alright, and at least I don’t have to take them home to get myself through sometimes. I still think they cute and precious though.
44. A hobby I loved spending time on this year was
Writing; especially for my blog. I’ve enjoyed every bit of it – making deadlines for myself and always finding new things to write about. It’s one of those things you spend time on, not for public attention, but for the sake of sharing and also constantly engaging in reflection. And now looking back, it interests me to read the experiences I went through and the details I captured in my writing.
45. This year I practiced self-care by
- Reflecting more
- Praying
- Reading more Qur’an
- Going to the gym
- Using face masks
- Taking afternoon naps on work days
- Eating good food
46. My biggest time waster this year was
- Sitting through meetings that would mostly be in Chinese, if not all
- Being lazy on my rest days
- Scrolling through Youtube
47. Here’s a great time-saving hack I learned this year
- Setting goals for each day – what I need to prioritize and accomplish
- Always be selfish with your time! I have yet to get better at this, but I’m working on it
48. What I am most grateful for this year is
- My health
- Family
- Friends
- Nature
- Water
- Faith
- Home/shelter
- Ability to work
- Airplanes, to run away
- And the list continues…..
49. Here are three words that would sum up this year
- Beautiful: with all that has come my way, I have loved what it has done to me. This year was the year of self-love and finding peace through my solitude.
- Boundless: I’ve made this year my year of choosing to say “yes” to many experiences that I would otherwise not mind missing out on. It’s true that being in a different country makes you want to do more for the sake of experience, but also to learn.
- Purposeful: from how much meaning life has given me (and continues to), in all aspects. It’s one thing to live, but another to live the life you want, and not speaking in a materialistic way, but in a spiritual and emotional way. There are many ups and downs, but even then part of knowing your purpose is accepting your struggle and ease.
50. If I could travel back to the beginning of the year, here’s some advice I would give myself
To allow time and patience to do its wonders, because fear and not knowing the unknown is bound to happen. A little reflection and self-work go a long way, and for every step you take, there will always be a purposeful outcome. So make every second count and every moment and opportunity a source of building who you are.
Well then, that’s a wrap! If you’ve tuned in this far, thanks for following the journey, and a blessed new year to you!!
What’s your biggest takeaway this year?
